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Parenting coordinators
help divorcing couples
and children
(December
2005 Issue)
By Elinor Nelson
It would be helpful if before the sports season ended, the divorcing
parents could agree whether the child should participate in soccer
or Little League, says Richard Wolman, Ph.D., a psychologist who
works with the Boston Law Collaborative, consulting as a parenting
coordinator for families going through divorce. Michael Leshin,
J.D., a Wellesley lawyer who specializes in family law and mediation
who has served as a parenting coordinator and worked with other
parenting coordinators agrees. It would be better to be able to
iron out the details of the dates and destinations of summer vacation
before September approaches, he adds.
A parenting coordinator is a professional - a psychologist, lawyer,
mediator or social worker - who helps in the post-divorce period.
While a guardian ad litem or custody evaluator observes the family
at possibly their worst moment (the throes of divorce) and makes
recommendations to the court, the parenting coordinator is someone
who can help the family to live with the agreement in a less fractious
way. While only the court is empowered to substantially modify an
agreement, the parenting coordinator tries to keep the parties from
needing or wanting the court's regular involvement.
For parents, lawyers and judges who realize that returning to court
is an inefficient, unpredictable and expensive way to settle divorce
and parenting disputes, parenting coordinators have become increasingly
popular. And, says Wolman, kids often like the parenting coordinator
process too. They can get "revved up" by the court experience, he
says, and parenting coordinators can provide a good alternative
for them.
Massachusetts legislation is pending that would formalize the process;
it would authorize courts to make post-judgment appointments (but
only if both parents agree), permit the court to order parents to
pay fees and delineate the responsibilities of parenting coordinators.
The bill has not yet been reported out of the Joint Committee on
the Judiciary. So far, Oklahoma and Idaho have enacted parenting
coordinator legislation, although parenting coordinators are at
work in other states, including pockets of New England as well.
Vermont judges in particular are known to work with parent coordinators,
according to the American Psychological Association. In the meantime,
many Massachusetts judges are appointing parenting coordinators,
while other judges prefer to wait for a law to be passed.
Shirley Ann Higuchi, J.D., assistant executive director for legal
and regulatory affairs for the American Psychological Association's
Practice Directorate, sees this trend as a practice niche for psychologists.
"A psychologist can be a behavior change consultant for the family,"
she explains. While a child custody evaluator may write a plan to
"break up the family in the best interests of the child," the evaluator
then walks away. A parenting coordinator could help the family to
adjust to the post-divorce "radically different lifestyle." The
parenting coordinator can also, Higuchi says, form a continuing
relationship with the family that can be helpful in later years.
For instance, the custody order that worked when the child was 10-years-old
may need modification when the child is 15 - and the parenting coordinator
can make recommendations.
At a time when many psychologists are unhappy with the strictures
of reimbursement and managed care, working as a parenting coordinator
on a fee for service basis may offer a welcome change. Higuchi points
out that it takes a psychologist who has "training in child, mediation
and court issues."
Some couples "just can't skip an opportunity to start a fight,"
Wolman observes. "The parenting coordinator is the referee, coach
and umpire all rolled into one. . . Our goal is to help people take
responsibility and to shape their own future. It's empowering. It
puts control back into their hands."
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